***** WARNING WARNING ***** if the subject of bodily functions makes you feel uncomfortable turn your computer off now !!!!

Well l think l am the only person in the universe to visit the Curry capital of the world and have constipation. After not doing No 2’s for 4 days l had massive stomach cramps & having to take pain killers thought it was time seek help after making several enquiries for an “English speaking” Doctor l was on my way we pulled up outside a Dental clinic, asking the Tuk Tuk driver if he had the right place he replied yes, when l asked the girl at the front desk she also replied yes, after asking 2 more official looking people if this was a doctors surgery she said yes even though all the signs read “Dental clinic” after filling out the pages of paperwork &handing over 300rp (half a latte’) l was lead to a room greeted by a man dressed in a white coat l asked if he was a Doctor & he replied yes but when he made me lie down on a dentist’s chair l was worried, he asked what the problem was and l proceeded to give him my week long history of problems with my bowel movements, he looked puzzled and asked me if l had a toothache, l thought what does my poo have to do with my teeth – maybe l had bad breath. He left the room & after consulting with staff outside, came back & said l had to go to the hospital, luckily l rang Chandru who was able to communicate so off to a real doctor, not before trying to get a refund which was an event as they said once l signed the form no return, when l made it clear l had asked 5 people if this was a doctors surgery, they reluctantly returned my money. I learnt a valuable lesson… Sri Lankan people are so keen to please they answer “yes” to any question. Next Doctor before even examining me & after l told him about my constipation claimed l had a urinary tract infection and had to give a urine sample, l told him l have had a UTI before & this was nothing like it. He prescribed medication & told me how to insert a suppository now l was scared, the lab for wee sample was 2 doors down so decided to do it anyway, was handed the jar & was told to take off shoes which l refused as the toilet was one which so far in 6 weeks l have avoided a “squatter” it stunk & so my long pants wouldn’t hit the liquid on the floor l took them off hanging them on the door handle, so there l was squatting in a jar when my pants fell off the door onto the floor, that was breaking point l let fly with the “F” word & bit my lip as tried to stop myself from crying, paid my 100rp (76cents) not even the cream off a latte’. I was demermined not to let this break my spirit.. went home took more painkillers (and suppositry) and slept all afternoon. I rang the doctor for the wee results & he told me he wad glad to inform me the results came back clear (no shit Sherlock) Sorry to bore you with that long winded story but that’s the first time l have  thought… what have l done, now l can look back and laugh. I am feeling much better today but won’t tell you what magic potion worked.  Much love Christine, hope the photo works, this is how they dispense medication !!!   

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