The preparations for the excursion began with me being told l had to wear a Sari and was  presented with a beautiful maroon & gold number,  a “gift” from the teacher who’s celebration lunch for her deceased mother l photographed and gave her an album of the photos yesterday, she was very emotional when l presented it to her but never expected a gift. I was taken into the principals office, undressed and dressed in the undergarments, a sari skirt & blouse which looked more like a boob tube with sleeves, then with 5 staff members fussing and pinning me together with about 20 safety pins my outfit was complete. When l asked how l go to the bathroom they pulled the underskirt up tucked 20 mts of sari material in it, so off l went to try only to find they had attached a pin connecting my undies to the skirt so l couldn’t pull them down had to do the bathers trick, move the crutch to the side (l know too much information)  next time they insist l wear a sari l will demand it comes with a catheter. The first stop was the local railway station when the kids got off the bus a few were left in their seats, when l questioned why l was told the “too much trouble” kids had to stay on the bus so l waited for the second bus to unload when l discovered my favorite boy was put  the “trouble” category what a load of s&%t, anyway we just lined up 40 kids on the platform to watch the trains go by so he didn’t miss much.. no train ride. Next stop was the Post Office so l made sure Bubby got off the bus this time. Next stop a Hindu Temple.. all the kids were allowed this time trouble or not, they were very well behaved & in true Sri Lankan style the service was late starting, children were seated at 11.30am but it began at 12 noon. The kids even take their religion seriously, the naughtiest even participating in the prayers. One of the staff had 2 huge boxes of cream wafer biscuits in a bag which l presumed were to share on the return journey and l was starving… how wrong  was l, she left them at the temple as a gift for the Gods.. they were concrete statues for God sake how much could they eat (think that was blasphamy)

P.S I don’t understand how bare shoulders can be deemed as offensive, but it’s ok to have a fat white stretch marked belly hanging out of a Sari, actually thats me the others have a different color & that color doesn’t show stretch marks. After my new religious experience today am feeling holy again so God Bless you all !!!

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